Feeling distinctly uneasy at the moment, about my life, my future, my desires, my career. There are ideas, there are options I would probably jump for if they were here, now not vague and in the future, and there are lots of unknowns.

My anxiety at all this is not helped by people coming along dropping big hints that maybe I *ought* just go for it (the big, scary, expensive, timely commitment type option) like they know what I'm thinking. Making me think I ought to pull my socks up , work out what it is I want, and damned well do it.

As it is, I have a bit of time to think about Big, Scary Option. Option C (would be possibly exactly what I am looking for were it only in a different city) it seems, is the one I need to concentrate on just now; a typo on the jobs website gave a deadline of 08/10/08 when in fact it was 08/08/08 i.e. this Friday. Once I've applied I can work out if I want it or not.

So, I am listening to Karine Polwart, eating some popcorn, and trying to write a personal statement. I am sure it hasn't been nearly long enough since I last wrote one of these. Trying to avoid feeling as miserable and ill as I felt last night/this morning/late this afternoon.